Breaking up with someone is not an easy process. Breaking up with someone who is struggling with a mental illness is worse. It is not easy to see someone that loves goes through depression. But being in a relationship with someone depressed is tough. There is this very common urge to go above and beyond for the people you love. People try their best to please the ones they love.
You can imagine how hard it would be for someone depressed. Bringing them the slightest of happiness is hard. And even if it happens it goes away quickly. Keeping this up for a long time can be emotionally draining, and it can affect your own mental well-being too. If you can manage your expectations about the relationship, and they are not hurting you some way, it’s alright to stay with them. But if they are acting rudely and taking their anger out on you, then consider breaking up. Many people are depressed, and they still manage to show affection and not hurt those around them. If they are treating their partner as a punching bag, then ending it as soon as possible is advisable.
Here are some things you can do while breaking up with them:
Set a Deadline
Most of the time, people will find themselves stuck in the relationship because they don’t want to make things worse for their depression. They keep going hoping things will get better, and the depression will go away one day. It does at times. But in many cases, they get stuck in the relationship. The feelings of guilt, fear, and shame don’t let you end things. Even the thought about them doing self-harm or suicide comes to mind. But you must understand you are doing this for yourself. You shouldn’t stay just because you have to. Give yourself a deadline that you will end things in a month or two months. Get help from your friends or family to make sure you do that.
Whilst ending breaking with a person who’s depressed, one of the essential things is, to be honest. Lay it in front of them why you want to end things. How it is affecting your life, and this is not because you have stopped caring about them. Try using an “I” instead of “You.” And even after breaking upset boundaries, and don’t send them any mixed signals.
Be Kind and Empathetic
Tell them just because the relationship is coming to end doesn’t mean you have stopped caring about them. You understand their pain, but it is better if you both move on. Keeping their feelings in mind will help them understand that this is not something personal. And taking this course is for the best.
Seek Outside Help
After you have ended things with them let their family member or friend know about it. Suggest that they keep an eye on them and keep checking on them. There isn’t a need to contact them soon because it can cause confusion.